<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Reconciliations by Troodster1972</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26546293">Reconciliations</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Troodster1972/pseuds/Troodster1972'>Troodster1972</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Picard, Star Trek: Voyager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Friendship, Love, Past hurt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:40:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,376</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26546293</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Troodster1972/pseuds/Troodster1972</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Seven of Nine has to face her past as she receives a message from Kathryn Janeway.<br/>Raffi is there to help her through.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kathryn Janeway/Seven of Nine, Raffi Musiker/Seven of Nine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Huge thanks must go to Anni and Paris for their inspirations, insights and amazingness on all things Seven. And for their all round fantasticness.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seven of Nine sat at the small desk in her quarters in front of the holo screen which displayed her recent messages. A smile crept across her face as scanned the inbox:</p><p>New message from: Paris Tom - Subject: “Hey! Just dropping by to see ho….”</p><p>New message from: Torres (I still won’t use his surname!) B’Elanna - Subject: “Hey Ice-Queen….. How’s thi...”</p><p>She smiled at the familiar warmth which oozed from the headers and giggled inwardly as she pondered the irony that even though the married couple resided in the same home they each liked to send her their separate messages. Tom would regularly fill her in on his latest holo-novel which he was working on which would inevitably involve his beloved Captain Proton, whilst B’Elanna would indulge her with updates on their kids. Miral was now an Ensign onboard Starfleet’s newest ship, whilst Harry had recently entered the Academy.</p><p>Scanning further down her inbox she passed by the messages from a few of her Fenris Rangers acquaintances, deleted some irritating junk mails and ignored one from an old flame whom she berated herself for not blocking already.</p><p>Just as she was about to open her message from Tom a new message appeared at the top of her display, with a name which stopped her in her tracks.</p><p>New message from: Janeway Kathryn - Subject: empty</p><p>=/\=</p><p> </p><p>Seven stood in the centre of the room in her quarters. Shoulders rose and fell as her breathing slowly returned to a normal rate. Seeing the message from Kathryn had startled her.  She had shot out of her seat so fast, almost sending the small holo device crashing to the floor as she did. Her heart rate escalated to near double its normal rate with the shock and she hadn’t known what had surprised her more; seeing the message, or her reaction towards it. Staring at the emitter as though it, itself, was some kind of threat to her she tentatively took the few paces required to return to her seat at the table and gingerly waved her hand above it to reactivate the display.</p><p>Instantly, the display flashed back into life and her messages were once more hanging in front of her, shimmering as they were held, suspended in the air. </p><p>Anxiously she contemplated opening up the comforting messages from Tom and B’Elanna and relishing the familiarity of their correspondence, or, biting the proverbial bullet and seeing why the woman -  from whom she had had no interaction with for so many years - was contacting her out of the blue.</p><p>Both palms were damp with perspiration as her anxiety mounted. Apprehensively she tapped the floating icon with Janeway’s name as she nervously clenched and unclenched her right hand - a habit which she had developed soon after being severed from the collective.  </p><p>The message screen appeared and Seven was confronted with a holographic avatar of a smiling Kathryn Janeway. Older. Hair, greyer than the last time they had met. The collar of an ever pristine Starfleet uniform only just visible at her neck. To the side of the image was another face, again, Kathryn, yet this one showed her in civilian attire, hair white. Across the image was a “play message” icon.</p><p>Suddenly, Seven was bombarded with images from her past. Visions of a much younger self onboard the infamous USS Voyager.  Of hours spent in Ready Rooms, deep in discussions with her treasured Captain. Velocity matches which Janeway, more often than not, would win...much to Seven’s frequent dissatisfaction. Memories of herself emerging from the shell of a human which Voyager had rescued from the Borg.  Her mind played her a fast-forward recollection of her own personal journey from drone to human being under the almost exclusive wing of her Captain Kathryn Janeway.   She recalled that day when they disembarked back on Earth when it seemed as though the entire quadrant had turned to greet the returning crew as heroes. Entire crew, except one former Borg drone.  </p><p>She thrust her hand at the display to swipe the message away.  As she was about to grab the holographic text to throw it aside, she stopped.  Fingertips let go of the text and it sprung once more back into the air.</p><p> </p><p>She sat and stared at the ‘play’ button, torn between pressing it and throwing the entire screen to the side and shutting the whole thing down. The bottle of bourbon beside her bed became an enticing alternative. </p><p>Rising from the desk she retrieved the bottle and glass which had been left beside it from a previous shot and returned to her seat. Pouring a large serving she downed the measure in one mouthful. With the courage which the warm beverage brought, she quickly pressed the button.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kathryn Janeway.</p><p>Returning Hero.</p><p>Poster girl of Starfleet.</p><p>Seven flinched as Kathryn’s face appeared larger than life on the holo display. She leaned back against her chair as though to put as much distance between herself and the face of her once-revered Captain as she could.</p><p>“Hello Seven,”</p><p>The video message began.</p><p>“Its been a long time.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raffi tries to find out what has upset Seven so much.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Continued thanks to Anni and Paris for their ongoing encournagment.<br/>I always surprised at the response I get to the things I have written, and thanks to those who take the time to comment and leave kudos, it definitely helps the process.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Raffi leaned against the doorframe as she pressed the call button outside Sevens quarters.<br/>
“Hey babe, it's me, ya gonna let me in honey?...” she called, listening to her own voice echo on the other side of the door.</p><p>She signed as she waited, listening to the silent reply. </p><p>Closing her eyes, she leaned her forehead beside the panel and pressed the button again.</p><p>“Seven… honey… come on, let me in babe,”</p><p>She listened as she heard something which sounded like a muffled expletive, followed by the doors whoosh open.</p><p>The familiar smell of Bourbon assaulted Raffi’s nostrils as she stepped into Seven’s quarters.<br/>
She scanned the room looking for the blonde who had beamed into her life and endeared herself into her heart… finding her sat on the floor in the corner of the sparsely furnished room. </p><p>“... hmm, looks like I missed my invitation to this party…” she said, raising her brows in feigned surprise. Gesturing towards the floor beside Seven she crouched beside the dejected looking woman who held an empty glass in her hand swirling its non-existent contents around its insides as her forearms resting on her knees. “Got room down there for one more?” she offered hopefully.</p><p>“Feel free.” a mumbled response came as Seven continued staring at the empty glass which she continued toying with.</p><p>Resting her back against the bulkhead Raffi allowed herself to slide down the wall until she sat on the floor mirroring Seven’s position. Reaching for the half-empty bottle which sat between them she reached for the glass and gently took it from Seven’s grasp.</p><p>“So, how many of these have you gotten through without me?” she asked, keeping her voice light, trying not to sound critical.</p><p>Another shrug of shoulders was accompanied by a half-hearted “dunno”.</p><p>Raffi poured herself a generous measure, “Babe... “ she laughed lightly, “I’m pretty dammed sure you could tell me exactly to the millilitre how much you’ve had.”  Drinking the shot, she groaned as the warm liquid seared its way down. </p><p>“Guuhhh …. That...damm...yep that hits the spot!” she husked.  “So has this jet fuel burned away what’s bothering you yet baby?”</p><p>Shifting her weight onto her right hip she turned to face Seven, her leg dropping and sliding beneath her. Leaning slightly towards her companion she dipped her head slowly trying to convince Seven to make eye contact with her.</p><p>“C’mon honey, talk to me. What’s goin on?”</p><p>For the first time since Raffi entered the room, Seven lifted her head and looked at her.  She could see the effect of however many hits of bourbon in the blue eyes which met her own, twinned with a sadness which Raffi hadn’t yet seen in Seven, and it broke her heart to see her like this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raffi tries to dig a little to find out more of what's bothering Seven.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm blown away by the comments, thanks go out to those who take a moment to leave them, they do inspire.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Raffi could see the struggle within Seven as clearly as she could see the starburst remnants of the Borg implant beside her left ear.  She listened quietly as Seven relayed the contents of the message she had received from Kathryn Janeway. </p>
<p>“Why cant she just leave me alone?” Seven finally said after a long period of silence.</p>
<p>“Sounds to me like she just wants to see you hon…” Raffi offered as she shuffled closer to Seven, weaving an arm around the other woman’s left one. She signed, “babe, what's the problem?  Why has this upset you so much?” gesturing towards the table where the holo emitter still sat.</p>
<p>Breathing in a deep breath Seven held it for a few moments before releasing it noisily.  She took the glass from Raffi and held it out, a silent request of a refill, and waited as Raffi obliged with a generous measure.  Taking a slow mouthful she swallowed it and began.</p>
<p>Raffi listened as Seven spoke, recounting her past from when Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One was instructed to speak for the Borg as they formed an “alliance” with Janeway and the USS Voyager agreeing on safe passage for the vessel through Borg space in exchange for a bio-weapon against what became known as Species 8472.<br/>
She recalled her struggles to fit into a crew who despised what she was, telling of a daily fight against a continual mistrust of her, seeing her only as not only an outsider but a perpetual threat. Constantly suspicious of. Never feeling like she was accepted. Of being “spending four damned years in a fucking glorified closet…”.</p>
<p>Seven had never spoken of her time onboard Voyager. Never mentioned the, then, Captain Janeway. Raffi knew of both, good grief, Janeway and Voyager were infamous within Starfleet, Seven was “notorious” as Rios had once described her when she first beamed aboard La Sirenna.  Raffi hadn't pried, she herself knew of wanting to keep a past just there; in the past.  However, she got the feeling that she needed to dig a little deeper, to try and help the woman beside her through her torment.</p>
<p>Taking a breath she paused, trying to formulate in her mind how to steer the conversation.</p>
<p>“... sounds like it wasn’t all the fun ‘n’ games type adventure the Academy made it out to be, huh?” she tried. “They make it sound like the mission of all missions… … “ she let out a gentle laugh… ”that's taking  ‘Where No-one has Gone Before’ to the extremes - haha”.  Her attempt to lighten the mood met with a blank stare.</p>
<p>“Starfleet. It was a thing - they used. Ya know… on brochures ‘n’... stuff… Yeah … never mind…forget I said that...” she stumbled and let out a frustrated sigh.</p>
<p>“Ya know, what I'm tryin to say here babe, is… like… it couldn't all have been bad.  Yeah, I hear ya, you took a lotta crap back then. But, honey, surely there must have been some good in there along the way? No?”. </p>
<p>Raffi gestured up towards the holo emitter on the table.<br/>
“I mean, from what you say, she sounds like she really wants to see you babe.”</p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tell me about  her.” Raffi said, and earning a swift turn of the head form Seven.</p>
<p>Raffi shrugged her shoulders, copying the gesture she had received from Seven earlier.</p>
<p>“I dunno. Just - tell me about Kathryn. What happened after they brought you on board Voyager?”</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks to Anni and Paris for ongoing encouragement. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Seven begins to open up to Raffi</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Raffi silently poured Seven another, more modest, helping of the warm amber liquid, knowing fine well that the Borg nanoprobes which remained within her would be inhibiting the effects upon her a little more than it would on herself. A metal adorned hand lifted the glass from the floor and Seven once more adopted the position in which Raffi had initially found her, with forearms resting on her knees, glass swirling its contents.</p>
<p>“When I first woke, after they severed my link to the collective, I was  …  angry. Frightened.  I… I had never been alone, without the sound of the others, without the collective.” </p>
<p>Raffi watched as she could see blue eyes glaze as Seven lost herself in the memory.</p>
<p>“They had removed much of my exoplating. My optical implant … was gone.  My auditory processor had also been removed.” Raffi noticed as Seven began to open and close her right hand, she had been aware of the habit on occasion when Seven was anxious and became curious as to when the habit had been formed.  “They had already begun to adapt me.  The doctor and Janeway kept saying that they had to do it because my own body was rejecting the Borg implants, but all I could see was, I felt like their prisoner. That all they wanted was to make me like them, to use what I knew to improve their ship, like nothing more than a tool -  to get them back home faster.” she paused to take a drink before continuing.  “I ended up in the brig for days at the begining,” she huffed out a small wry laugh, “I called her manipulative. Hypocritical. I told her she was no better than the Borg. I can still see the look on her face from that one.”</p>
<p>“Bet that was a kick in the teeth for her” Raffi commented with a smirk, earning a smile.</p>
<p>“Yeh.  that day. That, conversation. Has - haunted me since. The words used, by both of us, have remained as fresh as when they were spoken.</p>
<p>“One thing she said. That I ‘lost the capacity to make a rational choice the moment [i] was assimilated’, over time it has haunted me more, and more. And I have no idea why.”</p>
<p>“Sometimes words just hurt babe, and we never really know why.” Said Raffi. “I've certainly said a few in my day. Not my finest moments I must add.”</p>
<p>Seven lifted her glass and took another sip.</p>
<p>“Surely you didn't stay pissed at her for four years, huh? That's one hell of a stint in the brig.” Raffi added.</p>
<p>“No, I got promoted to a cargo bay.  In fact, we grew close, after I stopped being pissed at her, as you put it. I have her to thank for helping me. She …,</p>
<p>“...that day, in the brig.  I, I went for her. I was scared, I was alone, for the first time that I could remember all I could hear was my own mind. And it scared me. She told me who I had been. Who I was. I rejected it. I didn't want that life. But, she uhhhhh, she held me. I couldn't remember ever being touched until then, and despite all that I'd said, all that I'd done, even with my exoplating … she held me until I calmed down.”</p>
<p>Raffi watched as Seven’s eyes began to glistens as tears began to form.</p>
<p>Seven paused almost as though she was in doubt as to whether or not to say what was coming next, “She became almost a mother figure to me.  She became a mentor to me, I valued her council, her opinions, she almost became the mother I lost that day.”</p>
<p> She turned to look at Raffi who slowly shook her head as her brows knit together in confusion, “I don't understand baby, if you cared so much for her, why …” she gestured her hand towards Seven, “why this?”</p>
<p>One word was all she received in reply.</p>
<p>“Fenris”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Seven elaborates a little more about the Rangers.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Raffi listened as Seven continued, carefully holding in her ever present urge to interject an air of light hearted humour for fear of stalling the woman’s need to unburden, offering a silent prayer of thanks to whatever deity may be listening that Seven felt able to share with her.</p>
<p>“When we got back to earth I had nowhere to go, I had no home, I had one relative with whom I had no bond, not connection. Granted, she was lovely, but… it was, difficult. I felt that I simply couldn’t burden her with myself. Kathryn was there. She was busy with her debriefings, her interviews, everything. Yet still she was there for me. Starfleet, they held me for weeks. Convinced that I was a ‘Threat To Security’. Afraid that I was still in contact with the Collective. They subjected me to all forms of tests. They ran diagnostics, repeatedly, on my systems. They had me sit before countless psychological boards, testing my loyalties. They even restricted access to my alcove in a bid to document the effects of not being able to regenerate.”</p>
<p>Raffi gasped, shaking her head in horror and disbelief. “Jeeesus, baby, I had no idea… I … ” she paused, searching for something better to say. “… I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”</p>
<p>Seven rested her head against the bulkhead wall and looked at Raffi, taking her hand in her own Borg enhanced one.</p>
<p>“It wasn’t your fault Raff.  You didn’t do it.”</p>
<p>Raffi wondered how this woman, who had had endured so much horror and hardship, be so humble and gentle.</p>
<p>Seven continued.  “Kathryn, she was my advocate.” She smiled at the emerging memory. “She fought for me, even whilst fighting for herself. She petitioned for my release, offered herself as my sponsor, vouched for me, putting her reputation on the line for me. She opened up her home to me. She helped me adjust to a new life on Earth.”<br/>
Her voice quietened so barely a whisper, “She was my family.”</p>
<p>Raffi idly stroked her thumb across the back of Seven’s hand, gently waiting for her lover to continue.</p>
<p>“I had no desire whatsoever to join Starfleet. Despite having countless offers. However, I began to feel restless, I craved purpose, I did not enjoy the …” she raised the implant surrounding her left eye and smiled … “the inefficient use of my time.” earning a warm smile from Raffi, </p>
<p>“Not much changed there honey, huh?”</p>
<p>“I began to hear of the Fenris Rangers. Their cause sounded, noble, honourable. I could identify with their ideals and their moral code. I saw it as a way in which I could use what skills and knowledge I had gained, both from my time in the Collective and with Voyager, for a greater good. I needed to fee … useful. The Federation had left the sector in such chaos. But others, including Kathryn, did not agree.”</p>
<p>“Ahh.  Didn’t approve huh?  The old ‘disapproving mother’ type?” Laughed Raffi as she shifted her weight to slide closer, resting herself into Seven’s side.</p>
<p>Seven breathed out a laugh, “There were plenty of those moments over the years. But this time, it was different. Kathryn was fiercely against the actions of the Rangers. She classed then as anarchists. No better than those whom we were attempting to protect others against.  She could not see past her beloved Starfleet. Could not see that millions had been abandoned, been thrust into chaos and disorder.  She saw my joining as nothing more than an act of betrayal and defiance.”  She fell silent as the emotions brought forth by her memories began to surface. The sting of tears betraying her quest not to give in to the rising sense of hurt she was feeling.</p>
<p>“We haven’t spoken since…” she uttered as her voice cracked.</p>
<p>Raffi slipped an arm across Seven’s shoulders and gently guided her into her side. “That’s a long time, babe.” She whispered into blonde hair as her hand guided Seven’s to rest against her own shoulder.</p>
<p>“Yeah…” Seven whispered as the tears began to fall, submitting herself to the embrace offered by Raffi.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for the kudos and comments so far, they keep the fingers busy on the old keyboard :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Seven comes to a decision.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Holding Seven tightly against her chest, Raffi gently stroked her back as the tears began to subside.</p>
<p>"Babe…" she whispered into blonde hair. </p>
<p>Seven sniffed and slowly raised her head, wiping the remaining tears from her face to look into loving hazel eyes. </p>
<p>Raffi noticed the tearful redness of her blue, right eye, momentarily taken aback as she saw that Seven's left one bore no such redness. She felt her heart ache at the realisation that it was the cybernetic eye which had been created for Seven by Voyager's EMH, replacing the ocular device which the Borg had violently implanted to her as a child.</p>
<p>So much had been done to this woman, Raffi thought. So much violence, so much cruelty, so much violation. </p>
<p>She pressed her lips lightly against the dull metal remnant around the eye, wishing silently that she could kiss away all of the pain and hurt which the woman had been forced to endure and bare over her years.  </p>
<p>                                          =/\=</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Raffi shifted, groaning against the ache which had crept into how lower extremities whilst they had remained seated on the floor.</p>
<p>"Honey, I dont know about you… but my ass is numb here," She said, with a gentle laugh, "hows about we take this party off the floor? Huh?"</p>
<p>"Sorry," Seven mumbled, "i hadn't intended this to be … this." She said, gesturing toward herself.</p>
<p>Raffi genty caressed Seven's cheek, "Babe, dont you ever apologise for having feelings. Ya hear me? And honey, if you ever feel like 'this' …" she gestured back, mirroring Seven's own gesture, "... come to me, yeh, don't sit and bare it by yourself."</p>
<p>Raffi gingerly stood, moaning as tight, stiffened muscles stretched once more. Reaching down, she took Seven's hands  and pulled the blonde to stand, wrapping her own warm arms around a slim waist.</p>
<p>"You're not alone any longer baby. Let me be here for you." </p>
<p>Seven nodded her head, tears threatening once more.</p>
<p>Blue eyes and hazel ones regarded each for a long moment. </p>
<p>"So … what ya gonna do babe?" Asked Raffi quietly.</p>
<p>Seven inhaled a deep breath.</p>
<p>"Kathryn continued to send me messages, which I, in turn, continued to ignore. It became, easy. After Bjayzl, and especially Icheb…" she faltered at the mention of his name, "... when I desperately needed her, I was, i was afraid to make that first move. Afraid that she … " Seven shook her head.  "I couldn't do it."</p>
<p>She turned her eyes toward the holo emitter. Raffi watched as Seven pondered her response.</p>
<p>"Perhaps," She stumbled. "Perhaps now is the time to change that."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raffi and Rios talk whilst Seven compiles a message to Kathryn.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seven sat in front of the holo emitter. Raffi had left her some time earlier to reply to Kathryn’s message. She stared at the screen, the cursor still blinking as it awaited her dictation before transcribing it for her.  She had already tried beginning her message twice, before deleting the two lines which she had spoken.  Three times she had shut down the program in favour of pacing the floor of her cabin, the metal fingertips of her left hand clicking lightly as she attempted to soothe her uneasiness.</p>
<p>“Just say what you feel babe,” Raffi had suggested before she left the room in order to allow Seven her privacy. Had truth been told, she deeply wanted to stay with Seven, her nurturing instinct almost getting the better of her. <br/> However, she gently laid a kiss on the top of the blonde hair as she made for the door.  “I’ll be on the bridge if you need me honey, ‘kay?”</p>
<p>“How fucking hard can this be?” Seven berated herself as she resumed her seat at the small desk, leaning hard against the backrest.  She jabbed a finger at the orange display and reactivated the dictation program.</p>
<p>Sucking in a deep breath she began: </p>
<p>“Kathryn…”</p>
<p>=/\=</p>
<p>Raffi sat at her ops station on the bridge, staring blankly out of the main screen, tapping her fingers upon her third mug of coffee. She had already gained irritated glares from Rios. “Jezzzz Raffi, what the hell?” He eventually barked, gesturing to the source of his irritation, “You’ve been a million miles away since you came up here.  Spill. What’s goin’ on?”</p>
<p>Casting her eyes down to the contents of the mug, Raffi sighed, “Nothing Chris, nothing..”</p>
<p>“My ass!  What is it? Trouble in paradise? First big blow-up?” He threw back, before stopping his teasing as Raffi failed to take his bait.  “Hey, Raff,” he leaned forward, resting his elbows upon his knees, “what’s wrong?”</p>
<p>The former Ops officer lifted her eyes to Rios’s concerned, dark ones, seeing his sincerity.<br/>She cast a glance back along the main deck, checking that they were still alone.</p>
<p>“You’re right, it is Seven, but... it’s so not what you think Chris,” she said, placing her mug on the console.</p>
<p>“Raff, you’ve known me a long time, I’m here if you need a set of ears.” Chris said softly, “you know what’s said here, stays here.”</p>
<p>Raffi took a breath, leaned her head against the back of the Ops chair, and explained the situation to Rios.<br/>=/\=</p>
<p>Rios sat quietly whilst Raffi told him about finding Seven on the floor of her cabin, of her explanation behind it all, of the uncharacteristic tears which had followed and how she was currently compiling her reply to the now Admiral Kathryn Janeway as they spoke.</p>
<p>“So,” he finally spoke, “looks like Seven has hung onto a lot of pain and guilt for a hell of a long time.  Think it’s a lot of guilt too maybe?” he asked.</p>
<p>Raffi’s brows rose with the speed of a warp 9 jump.</p>
<p>“What?” she exclaimed, “what should she feel guilty about?” she snorted in defence of her lover.</p>
<p>“Well, you said yourself Raffi, she didn’t leave on such great terms when she joined the Fenris Rangers. Janeway tried to keep in touch, Seven, by her own admission, didn’t. She said that it became easier just ignore the messages than to swallow her pride and reply… maybe she feels guilty for hanging onto all that disappointment… ... do ExB’s even get hurt feelings?” he added with one of his charming smiles.</p>
<p>Raffi breathed out a sign. “Maybe your right Chris.” </p>
<p>She sat up as she heard the sound of booted feet in the distance, swiping a hand at Rios as the sight of Seven appeared at the top of the furthest ladder and walked slowly towards the bridge, eyes cast down to her feet.</p>
<p>“Hey baby,” Raffi said, standing and flashing one of her warm, bright smiles towards her. “Everythin ok?”</p>
<p>Seven nodded her head in the affirmative, “I have transmitted a reply.”</p>
<p>Raffi held her smile, glancing down she saw a pale fingers open and close in slow repetition once more and gently took the hands into her own, “hey…” she whispered tenderly, “it’ll all be ok.”</p>
<p>“Uh, you want me to go?” asked Rios, thumbing behind himself.</p>
<p>“I uh, I mentioned to him honey, he was worried,” Raffi said with a questioning look, hoping she hadn’t upset Seven.</p>
<p>A small smile was joined with a faint nod of blonde hair.</p>
<p>Rios averted his gaze as the two women shared a brief hug and Raffi placed a loving kiss on Sevens’ forehead, turning his attention instead towards an alert on a nearby console.</p>
<p>“Uhhhhhhh, Seven…” he turned towards her, “You just got a message …” he said cautiously.  <br/>“… It’s from Janeway”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Seven and Janeway finally meet.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Raffi watched as Seven paced back and forth in the affluent study of Chateau Picard where the crew had retreated to for some “well earned R &amp; R.” as Jean-Luc had suggested a few days prior.  She had confided in him after Seven explained how Kathryn had suggested finally meeting face to face, invoking a minor bout of anxiety in the former Borg.  Picard had offered his family vineyard as a possible meeting place for the two women and Raffi had suggested that “since we’re heading to ‘His-Lordship’s Estate’, Janeway could come there?” Seven had agreed and the meeting had been arranged. </p><p>“Honey, you’re now making <em>me<em> nervous, “ Raffi finally spoke after watching Seven go back and forth, time and again, in front of the large windows offering a spectacular view of the vineyards.<br/>
The pacing continued, her words having no effect.</em></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Ok, now I know you heard me, that super-duper hearing of yours ‘n’ all.” she reached for a metal-lined hand, “honey, stop.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Seven stopped and slowly stepped towards the large oak desk and sat down upon its edge and immediately began wringing her hands, unable to contain her anxiety at seeing Kathryn Janeway for the first time in too many years.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Stepping slowly towards her Raffi took the hands in her own, gently stroking the knuckles with her thumbs.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Babe, it’ll be fine.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Study doors whooshed open and Jean-Luc entered the study, stopping just inside.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“She’s here,” he announced in his dignified tone and left quietly.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Raffi heard the air being sucked into Seven’s lungs as she visibly tensed.  Taking the pale face in her hands Raffi looked into ice blue eyes which now, for the first time since Raffi had met Seven, looked utterly terrified. “hey, everything's gonna be ok, babe…” she whispered with an encouraging nod of her head, making her wild curls bounce gently.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Warm hands slip down the ExB’s arms as Raffi slowly makes for the door, Seven gripping onto fingertips as her partner left her with a warm smile.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>The door whooshed open again, as Raffi left. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>A familiar husky voice floated into the room, just at the limits of Seven’s enhanced hearing, causing a rhythmic clenching of her right hand once more. Her eyes shot down towards the floor.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Almost silently, a petite, white haired figure slowly, gingerly, entered the study and halted just before reaching Seven.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“... the first time I noticed you doing that was in the cargo bay… then, you would do it when you felt nervous. “ the warm gravelly voice said, slowly taking Seven’s hands in hers. Kathryn could feel the tremble of the younger woman’s hands cradled in her own.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Seven felt the sting of tears as her emotions began to betray her, as she slowly lifted her eyes to finally look up. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Silently, both women looked at each other, as the passage of time slipped away, leaving just the two of them. Neither knowing how to begin.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Janeway’s mouth began to raised on one side in her typical lop-sided grin.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“I’ve missed you…” she said softly as she watched the tears slip from the blue eyes before her.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Slowly she wrapped her arms loosely around Seven’s shoulders as the battle with the blonde woman’s resolve finally crumbled, pulling her gently towards her.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“...’m sorry” she mumbled tearfully into a shoulder as Kathryn rested her chin against blonde hair.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Oh, sweetheart. You have nothing to be sorry for.” </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Seven’s tears plummeted into sobs as she finally surrendered into Kathryn’s arms, thankful for the embrace of the woman who had meant to much to her.  </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>The older woman pulls her closer, becoming aware of the fact that Seven had never displayed her emotions to her as openly before, and never, had she allowed herself to be held by her like this. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“ ‘ve missed you,” she whispered through her tears.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Kathryn pressed her lips into the blonde hair, “I’ve missed you too, so very much.” she said as her own grateful tears began to fall. “We’re here now, sweetheart, we’ll be ok.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Seven lingered on the term of endearment which Kathryn had bestowed upon her soon after she had opened her home to Seven, relishing in the comfort it, and the feeling of a small, warm hand which made gently soothing circles upon her back.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>As her tears began to subside Kathryn slowly brought her hands up to gently cup ether side of Seven’s face, sweeping away the rivers of tears which lined her cheeks.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Well, “ she huffed out a gentle laugh as she cradled Seven’s jaw, “I was going to say that you looked well…” she wiped away a fresh tear with her thumb as it fell, earning a small huffed laugh.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“It is so good to see you Seven.”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>The notorious former Borg nodded her head, and for the first time that Kathryn Janeway could remember, Seven Of Nine hugged her first.</em>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>When I origionaly came up with this story <em>this<em> scene was massively different in my head. In fact, most of the piece was, however, as I began writing it the story took its own path. This initial meeting was intended to be not so pleasant. </em><br/>BUT<br/>The universe gifted me two amazing new friends in Paris and Anni, and once gifted us all a Cameo from the absolutely amazing Jeri Ryan! The contents of the Cameo played a large part in my approach to this meeting.</em></p><p> </p><p>  <em><br/><em>Thank you so much for your continued reading and support, you don't know how much it is all appreciated and also how much it encourages more writing xx</em><br/></em></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The meeting continues.<br/>And Raffi waits.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yet another mug of coffee slowly cooled down as Raffi sat anxiously at the large oak dining table within Picard's kitchen, waiting for the two women to emerge. She had glanced at the ancient clock upon the stone walls repeatedly, cursing it for its slow announcement of the passage of the past hour. Elnor and Soji had grown tired of the continual tapping of her mug interspersed with her loud, repetitive sighing, and left to ‘Get some fresh air’ around the rows of vines. Rios and Agnes had retreated to their bedrooms to escape the air of tension, leaving Jean-Luc to babysit the anxious woman.</p><p>“They’re still in there JL. I mean, that’s a good thing? Huh?” Raffi said, for the umpteenth time, looking in the direction of the doorway.</p><p>“Well,” he said with a sigh of his own. “The lack of raised voices or the sound of breaking objects is somewhat reassuring.” he quipped, placing a fresh mug beside her.</p><p>“Raffi. I’m sure they are both absolutely fine”, he added, sitting down beside her. “You spoke to Kathryn just before she went in, didn’t you?” </p><p>Raffi nodded in acknowledgement.</p><p>“Yeah,” she replied, taking a mouthful of warm coffee with a grateful groan. “I just told her she feels bad for not answering her messages. And that she does want to see her, really.”</p><p>Picard smiled, placing a frail, ageing hand upon her hers.</p><p>“You, Ms Musiker, are one of life’s truly good people,” he said, patting her hand, and earning a snort of disbelief in return.</p><p>“Yeah!” she laughed, “try telling that to my ex-husband. Or to my son. I think they would have a whole armoury of counter-arguments to that one JL.”</p><p>A small, sorry smile crossed his lips, knowing her past as he did, Jean-Luc had little recourse to her statement. </p><p>“You are still a good person Raffi.”</p><p>She signed once more and returned to her watch over the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>               =/\=     =/\=    =/\=    =/\=    =/\=    =/\=    =/\=    =/\=    =/\=    =/\=    </p><p> </p><p>The two women had finally retreated to the large sofa in the study, tears having subsided and composure having returned.</p><p>“I’m sorry that I let you down.” Seven finally spoke.</p><p>Kathryn looked at her with confused eyes.<br/>
“Why do you think that you let me down?” she asked.</p><p>“You, you didn’t want me to join the Fenris Rangers.” she said, “you said that they were above the law, that they were nothing more than vigilantes.” </p><p>Kathryn sighed gently, taking a moment to gather her response.</p><p>“That is true. I did believe that.” she began, keeping her tone low. “At the time I did believe that. I only had Starfleet’s intel on the Rangers. And, let’s just say, that it was less than impartial.”</p><p>She reached out to Seven’s metal laced had and carefully took hold of it in her own, desperate to maintain contact with her.</p><p>“I was under the belief that Starfleet had done what was right. By pulling out of the rescue operation.  Over time, I began to see, to realise, that it was wrong. Wrong to abandon those people. People who the Federation were supposed to protect, to help.”</p><p>“I was disappointed, I will admit when you said you were going to Fenris. I understood that you wanted to help. I  didn’t agree with your methodology,” she said, raising her brow with a smile, “let’s just say that they wouldn’t have been my first choice for you.”</p><p>She earned a small hint of a smile from the blonde.</p><p> </p><p>“Sweetheart, “ Seven’s heart warmed at the phrase, “ but if anything disappointed me more, it was the thought of losing you.” Kathryn paused, trying hard to maintain her emotions as she felt the sting of tears threaten once more.  “All I wanted was the best for you.  Seven, you ... “ Janeway hesitated, ” … I love you. And I have not stopped loving you sweetheart. You mean to so much to me,” she laughed, “like the daughter i never had.” she finished with a smile.</p><p>“Maybe i should have responded differently at the time.”</p><p>Seven thought for a moment, “I was angry. Angry that you disagreed with me,” </p><p>Kathryn laughed “that was a frequent occurrence.” </p><p>Seven smiled, knowing she was right, “I think that I was easier for me to hold onto that anger. I would see your messages and, I would feel frustrated, I felt as though you were - attempting to dissuade me from what I felt was right. You had your chosen path with Starfleet, however, you didn’t agree with mine. So it became easier to ignore those messages.” </p><p>She stole a glance towards Kathryn, fearful of seeing hurt, or further disappointment in her eyes. Yet all she was was care. Seven could feel a warm tear escape and slowly trail her cheek.</p><p>“I am sorry Kathryn.”</p><p>Janeway slipped an arm around the woman beside her, guiding her to her side.</p><p>“So am I”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Seven and Kathryn emerge from their meeting, much to Raffi's relief.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My final chapter.<br/>This has been my longest piece yet, and I must admit, i am amazed at the reception which each chapter has received.<br/>I hope that you enjoy this closing chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Raffi continued her vigil in the kitchen. Rios and Agnes had checked in with her, collected mugs of coffee, and retreated back to their room while Elnor and Soji had returned from their vineyard stroll and left to relax in their respective bedrooms. Picard had remained, insisting on keeping her company, and had taken his position at the sprawling table with his book of Shakespeare's Sonnets.  He had attempted to soothe her apprehension by reading to her but she had quickly shushed him, insisting that she had no idea of what he was reading, that she would much rather sit and worry in silence.</p><p>She rubbed the palm of her hand across her forehead once more, desperate to alleve her apprehension.<br/>
“What the hell is taking so long?” </p><p>“They will come out when they are good and ready, Raffi,” Picard replied, not lifting his gaze from his book.</p><p>“Ya think? They’ve been in there for hours JL, I mean, what the hell can they-”</p><p>The doors abruptly whooshed open and the two women entered the large room.</p><p>Raffi jumped to her feet, instantly consumed with a desire to run to Seven and envelope her in her arms, instead, she breathed deeply,  laced her fingers and slowly made her way around the table towards the women.</p><p>“Everything ok?” she asked sheepishly.</p><p>Seven glanced towards Kathryn, who gently reached out and gave her augmented hand a soft squeeze. </p><p>“Everything is fine,” she replied, earning a sigh of relief from Raffi and arms which were thrown around her shoulders, pulling her in tightly.</p><p>“Ladies.” Picard rose from his chair, “can I make us all some tea?” he offered.</p><p>“Ahh Jean-Luc,” said Kathryn, “that would be lovely”</p><p>“So?” Raffi probed, anxious to know what had transpired between the two.</p><p>“We talked. About many things.” replied Seven, “i believe that things will be … okay.” she said, breathing deeply and nodding her head.</p><p>Raffi reached up a hand and gently stroked Seven’s face. “Babe,” she said softly, “I’m so pleased.” placing a soft kiss on full lips.</p><p>“Raffi Musiker.” Raffi turned towards Janeway.</p><p>“Admiral.” she responded, almost pulling to attention.</p><p>“Ah, just Kathryn, please.” Janeway laughed, “we didn’t get much chance for introductions earlier.”</p><p>“Honoured to meet you Adm - Kathryn. I've heard so much about you,” Raffi smiled. She turned her eyes toward Seven casting her a dry smirk, “although, almost nothing from this one here.” she patted Seven’s chest playfully.</p><p>Seven drew a breath and straightened her back.</p><p>“Tea, ladies.” Picard announced as he placed  a large pot on the table, and gestured, “please?”</p><p>Raffi clasped Seven’s hand in her own as she led her to the table and took a seat beside her.</p><p>“Kathryn?” Jean-Luc addressed the now white haired woman as she drew back a heavy wooden chair for her, gently pushing it in as she sat.</p><p>The group sat in comfortable companionship and shared various tails. Kathryn regaled them with stories of a younger Seven of Nine, careful not to overstep her boundaries and risk their newly rekindled relationship, mindful of its fresh fragility, frequently offering her warm smiles as she spoke.</p><p>They recounted memories of the Romulan crisis, shared personal high and lowlights. Picard and Janeway spoke of their Admiralties within Starfleet.</p><p>Seven sat quietly listening to the conversations around her. Smiling and the moments which Kathryn shared about their times on Voyager, remembering her fond memories, all the time with Raffi’s hand holding hers, gently fingers softly stroking her own, a silent demonstration of her love for the blonde who now began to show signs of fatigue.</p><p>“You ok babe? You look tired there.” she asked with a squeeze to her hand.</p><p>“Hmmm?” Seven looked at her with tired eyes, “I’m fine, its just been a long day.” she returned the squeeze.</p><p>Kathryn sat quietly watching the warm exchange between the two women. Whilst she had been talking with Seven, the younger woman had spoken about Raffi. Janeway’s heart had warmed as she saw the reaction that speaking of Raffi caused. Seven appeared happy. She talked of how the other woman accepted her, how she made no judgements of her. Kathryn listened as she spoke of their shared moments, and watched, as blue eyes lit up and Seven smiled. A smile which Kathryn didn't quite think that she had seen before. If Kathryn were a betting woman, she would place a generous amount of latinum on the fact that Seven of Nine was in love.</p><p> </p><p>   -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    =/\=    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -   -    -   -    -   </p><p>Laris and Zhaban cleared the remainder of the evening meal’s dishes as the others shared some after dinner drinks.  Agnes laughed as she watched Chris “fan-boy” over the famed Admiral Janeway as he eagerly interrogated her. Elnor eventually excused himself, lost amongst the Starfleet recounts and left in order to engage in some meditations, soon followed by Soji.</p><p>“Well, much as i have enjoyed my evening, I must head.” Kathryn announced to the rest.</p><p>“Already?” Seven asked.</p><p>“I'm afraid that i have a class to teach in the morning. Those cadets wont teach themselves.” Kathryn explained as she rose from the armchair.</p><p>Raffi watched as Seven’s face fell., “Now?” she said, with and almost childlike disappointment. She stood from her place on the couch beside Raffi and stepped towards the older woman. “I,” she hesitated, “i don't want you to go.” She reached for Kathryn’s hand.</p><p>Janeway smiled at Seven, taking the hand which reached for her, “Sweetheart. Now, there is nothing to stop us keeping in touch, yes? I expect to hear all about what your and this wonderful crew of yours is getting up to.” She smiled fondly.</p><p>Seven grasped the smaller hand, “I will, I promise.” she opened her mouth to speak, pausing momentarily, “i am happy that you came.” she could feel the sting as tears threatened once more.</p><p>Kathryn glanced behind Seven towards Raffi. “You have a wonderful woman there.  She makes you happy, yes?” </p><p>The smile returned to Seven’s lips as a faint tint of red crept into her cheeks, “She does.” she replied, turning to look into warm brown eyes.</p><p>“Hey… you two talking about me?” she laughed standing and moving to join them, wrapping an arm around Seven’s waist as she drew close.</p><p> </p><p>Picard keyed in the relevant information to the Transporter console as Kathryn, Seven and Raffi walked slowly towards the pads.</p><p>“Yes, I will let you know when i am safely back at my apartment Seven, i am a big girl you know.” Janeway laughed, as they approached the transporter.</p><p>“Babe, she’ll be fine, shes done this before ya know.” Raffi laughed. </p><p>Seven signed, “i know, i just…”</p><p>“I know. ”Kathryn smiled softly at the tall blonde, “I’ll miss you too, sweetheart. However, i would love for you to come visit soon,” she took hold of a metal laced hand, “both of you.” she smiled warmly.</p><p>Seven bowed her head, averting her gaze from Janeway.</p><p>Karthry regarded the two of them, “Look after my girl.” she smiled at Raffi.</p><p>“Yes Sir” she said. “I fully intend to.” She turned her gaze to the tall woman by her side, “i don't know why the universe gave me Seven, but I'm beyond thankful.”</p><p>Janeway glanced between the two women and paused.</p><p>“The universe its a lovely place, and it knows when to put people together.”  she said.</p><p>She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around the two women before stepping up onto the transporter pad.</p><p>“Im ready.” </p><p>With a flicker of blue light Janeway disappeared from the transporter pad.</p><p>Raffi gently pulled Seven in to her side, wrapping a warm arm around her waist.</p><p>Slipping her hand into Seven’s they walked back to their quarters, knowing that things would be a little better now.</p><p>“She’s right about the universe, babe.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A huge Thank You to everyone who has stuck with this. As a fairly new writer, I have loved and appreciated every single comment and kudos. They definitely make that moment of anxiety when one is about to hit that 'post' button worth it.</p><p>Particular thanks go out to Anni and Paris.<br/>The universe gifted you both to me and I am eternally grateful.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>